Bobcat Goldthwait – Best One Liners

Bobcat Goldthwait is an American actor and comedian best known for his high-pitched voice and comedic talent.

He has starred in a number of different movies over the years, including Scrooged and Shakes the Clown, as well as directed the cult classic film World’s Greatest Dad.

Goldthwait began his career in stand-up comedy during the late 1980s, and soon after found success performing on late-night talk shows. Today he is still a highly sought-after stand-up comedian and film maker, with numerous specials and films under his belt.

His unique brand of dark, absurd humor resonates with fans around the world, making him one of the most recognizable names in comedy today.

Bobcat Goldthwait’s Best Jokes and One Liners

I don’t under stand why people are afraid of clowns; no one’s ever seen a clown commit a crime… that we know of.

I never understood why so many people would like to have a threesome. That’s six hands to wash.

If it’s not broke, don’t fix it – unless you can make it better, then break it again and improve on it.

My spirit animal may be a sloth, but I promise I can out-run you in the morning.

Computers are like cats – They do whatever they want and ignore your commands.

Sometimes I feel like an archaeologist trying to piece together the past from tiny fragments of evidence – Except in my case, it’s mostly pieces of pizza.

God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we talk

It’s ok to be scared – everyone has butterflies in their stomach now and then!

Everyone has someone to look up to… mine just happens to be very tall!

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade but also remember that life will eventually give you watermelons too!

Make sure your words match your actions – that combined with good intentions can go a long way!

Only happy people can make others happy… so practice smiling more often!

You don’t have to be perfect, just try to be better than you were yesterday!

The key is not getting everything right all the time, but learning from mistakes when they happen!

A little bit of laughter can go a long way – so laugh more often and enjoy life more each day!

Be kind even when others aren’t kind to you – after all, karma is real and will pay them back eventually!

It’s alright if things turn out differently than expected-learn from it and move on”

Happiness is an inside job- don’t let anyone else dictate how you feel

Stop comparing yourself with others — focus on being the best version of yourself!

Live life in full color — wear bright clothes and smile!

Smile first before anyone else does — happiness is contagious!

The only person stopping you from achieving your dreams is yourself — push forward!

Don’t take anything for granted-give thanks for the small moments in life

Success isn’t measured by money or power–it’s measured by personal growth

Be courageous when faced with fear–that’s when growth begins

Tackle problems head on–procrastination won’t get you anywhere

It takes courage to be creative but the results are worth it

Choose happiness over perfection — mistakes are inevitable but learn from them

You don’t have control over all circumstances–only how you react to them

Excellence isn’t about being perfect–it’s about doing your best

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass–but learning how to dance in the rain!

The key is not getting everything right all the time–but learning from mistakes when they happen!

Set priorities in life before making choices–find what works best for YOU!

Follow your passion instead of choosing a path because of peer pressure!

Take risks and get out of comfort zone – because nothing great comes without some risk!

Keep taking steps forward despite hardships – success doesn’t come easy!

Don’t keep waiting for validation from others – instead validate yourself through hard work!

Your attitude determines your altitude – stay positive no matter what!

No matter what challenges come your way remember: You Got This!

Fall seven times, stand up eight.

What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us.

If opportunity doesn’t knock – build a door!

The most important thing is never quit!

Believe in yourself even when nobody else does!

No matter how slow progress appears keep going until desired goal is reached

Don’t wait till tomorrow do something today that makes tomorrow better

Life throws challenges at everyone; use those challenges as stepping stones toward success

You may fail if you stop trying, don’t give up

Learn from yesterday live for today hope for tomorrow

Make every moment count and every day count too!!